One of the primary reasons we decided to send Hudson to school (being of the homeschool persuasion) was because we wanted him to have a special place of his own. Having a little brother to share everything with was getting overly frustrating for him. We decided he needed somewhere that was only his and not Eli's. His own friends, teachers, and situations. He really loves it and the way school has worked out at the Cincinnati Waldorf School (CWS) has been truly phenomenal. I've realized how many skills he now has with communicating with the family, especially Eli. He regularly "wins cooperation" with Elijah. I am totally impressed with his mediating skills. He has taught me sooo much about how to get Eli to play along rather than dig in his heels.
One of the best skills he has acquired is 'before' he takes something out of Eli's hands, he brings something cool for Eli to trade him. "Hey Eli, do you wanna play with this?!" If Eli accepts there has been a crisis averted via the element of distraction. However, if Eli does not accept Hudson has yet another means of winning cooperation, via overt subliminal persuasion. Eli, say that you want this new toy, Eli say that? Eli will sometimes fall into a a meditative state and say, "Otay, I want your new toy" and start playing with it.
Brilliant, a crisis averted. Now when straight manipulation doesn't work for Hudson, he starts negotiations. Okay, Eli, let's see how you stand up to emoting... "Eli, my feelings are really hurt when you have that toy. I will be really, really, sad if you don't give that back!" If Eli's response is "Otay, I'm sorry" Brialliant, that's another situation where I don't end up in the crossfire. If Eli's response is "Nah Nah Nah boo boo stick your head in a big poopy diaper!" then it usually results in I have to pull the two cavemen apart and pray for peace and tranquility to befall my feeble existence.
Hey, it could always be worse, a few short months ago Hudson had zero mediation skills. So thank you Ms. Carmy (CWS preschool teacher), you have done my family well by your teaching methods.
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