Welcome to our blog

Even though I am starting 4 years into the process, I am going to document my experience with raising a family. After finding out that you can print your blog into a book, I decided this would be one of the best gifts I could give to my children and to myself. The moments are precious but life is moving at such a fast pace that I just don't have time to appreciate it all. I want my kiddos to know how much they are loved even when life is crazy...Enjoy.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

We have to love him through it.

Not sure how to handle my roughians.  These boys play together sooo nicely 50% of the time but the other half they are fighting and doing REAL damage to each other.  (Although, I have to say Eli is my real bruiser).  Eli is soo extremely sensitive that he takes everything as an affront.  I know Hudson antagonizes him a lot.  But there are times that I see Hudson trying so hard to reason with Eli.  My girlfriend, who has two sweet little girls, just came to stay with me and she was like, "I really don't know how you do it".  My boys are intense sometimes.  Granted, Eli was soo jealous of the Lily, who was super "in- love" with his mommy that he was 10x's more aggressive than normal.  And he kept saying things like, "That is my mommy."  I tried to be sensitive to his little feelings but when he starts attacking a sweet little girl its so hard.  I guess the grass is always greener but when I see families with their kids spaced out  3 years apart and female. I get a little jealous of the calm aspect.  I keep asking myself what the deeper significance of this is.  Eli triggers people, he triggers me.  Keith always says that's the way he was as a kid and that we have to love him through it.  I tell myself that on the hard days, the days when I know I want to blow my top with frustration.

Keith is an amazing father to Eli.  I know that they were put together for a very special purpose.  Keith's father lost his cool with Keith and wasn't supportive.  Keith looks for ways every day for eli to express himself and find out what is going on his head.  He supports Eli like no other father could .  On one hand I think it gives Keith some perspective on why his father might not have had the skills to deal with him and also gives him a chance to parent the way he wished he had been parented.  He is an amazing father.

My path with Eli is that he shows me frustration and how quickly it can either  bediffused or exaggerated.  I am learning how to diffuse situations.  (Not one of my innate skills)  I am usually doing well, as long as, things don't get too stressful.  Well, my life has been stressful for the past few years and continues to be.  So either you go crazy or you surrender. I am choosing to surrender a lot more often than I would have before.

I want to help my boys get along more often than not. I know it is hard to share everything with someone.  But that is life.  If they can learn these lessons now, things might be easier for them in the long run.

Dear Hudson and Eli,
I know we had a stressful day today.  I had the flu and Daddy had emergencies at work, not a good combination.  I am sorry for not being the bigger person today and supporting you through your frustrations with each other.  I love you both to the end of this earth and to the moon and back.  I can't say that I won't ever get frustrated again but I can say that even when I get frustrated, it doesn't change my love for you.  I want the world for you boys.  I want you to be bestfriends when your older.  It really bothers me when you fight because I am afraid you will carry bad feelings towards each other into adulthood.  If you choose to fight today, I pray with all of my heart that you will forgive each other tomorrow, that's all I ask. Family can be a tremendous resource in your life if you will allow it. I don't want pettiness to stand in the way of that.  I love you both so much.  You are brothers, please love each other.
Just to reiterate that my Eli is incredibly sweet. Here he is hugging on the very little girl of whom he was so jealous. When she left he said, " I am weally gonna miss her." 

Love,
Mom.

No comments:

Post a Comment