After 3 birthday parties over the last 3 weeks, I thought Hudson would be sailing high. however, he just kept getting crankier and crankier. I was starting to get really frustrated with him so tonight I gtook into my bedroom and gave him a holding time. Holding time is really tough the deeper rooted the fear is. Hudson had been sassy with me and saying he wanted to go live with his Grandee. I was trying to figure out what was wrong and why he was so angry.
The holding time is basically a session where I remain physically close to Hudson until we resolve our issue no matter how long it takes. In this instance, it was probably an 1 hour. He was really thrashing and fighting to get away from me and I just kept remaining calm saying I wanted to find out why he was so angry. I asked him why he wanted to go live with Poppy and Gee and he said because our house wasn't his house anymore. I asked him why he felt that way. He basically said that if he became a big boy, then we were going to have other children and he wouldn't have a home anymore. Poor guy misinterpreted me telling him that Keith and I are planning to adopt a child when he get's older. He said that he wanted me to adopt a sister for him while he was still little so he can play with her. He wants me to go get her tomorrow.
He's been saying he wanted to stay 3 this week and that i would be too sad if he was big boy. (An instance where he took me too literally) I did say I would be sad if he ever grew up and that he had to stay little. During the holding time he cried his little eyes out but by the end we both felt a lot better. It is so good that we have this tool because instead of blaming his behavior on a phase, I know that he is truly bothered by something and we need to get to the root of it so we can move on with our lives. I'm not saying its going to make my life like Pollyanna's however, it makes the day to day more better.
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