Raising sensitive males...



 I love raising boys, with all their rough and tumble and dirty ways... but I also love their sensitive sides.  Being daddy and baby cheetahs, planting baby sisters in the back field, giving me baby dolls to mother.  Here they have my belly casts on pretending to be a mommy.  I love it.  They are going to be good fathers one day, if they so choose,  cuz they have sensitive, vulnerable sides that make dad's rock.

I get tired of all the homophobia out there turns little boys right to explore into a political discussion.  We put men into these little boxes that make them have to choose to be tough or gay... Its ridiculous. No wonder so many men run from family life and their feelings and have to start programs like the Mankind Project to get in touch with being human again.  I've talked to too many men who ruined their family-life and marriages because they didn't know "how" to be sensitive to their family members needs because they were taught to shut down their own needs because of societal pressures.

Men don't need to be tough, Don't need to fix everything and men certainly have the right to explore fashion.

And why not be a turtle while your at it...

Dress like a fairy

Dress in butterflies

Who better to learn this from then Princess DADDY

Sweetness...

     There are many days that my boys fight and can't stand being with each other but on the flip side there is a real sweetness to their little relationship.   I the last few months they have started singing "You are my Brother", essentially "You are my Sunshine".  Eli sometimes cries at the end of it saying he doesn't ever want his brother to leave. 

"You are my brother, my only brother.

You make me happy when the skies are gray

You'll never know, brother, how much I love you.

Pleaase don't take my brother, away."

Oh my, I love the Sweetness.

Papertowel Socks...

Innovation on roadtrips is necessary...  Papertowels for socks, who knew?

St George Island...

The Beach is for frolicking. The beach is for fun. The beach is for remembering how to have fun!  That is the sum of this trip. Smooth sailing, no hitches, inspirational views.  And good friends to share it with.   A ytoear ago, I was lamenting the fact that God didn't give me a sister (much like both of my boys do).  So my girlfriend and I decided to adopt each other and we have been making sure we get together with our kids, as much as possible.  Again, Keith was unavailable due to work constraints and her husband was on a roadtrip out west.   So we went on  "mama trip" to the beach.  There were so many more pros to this set up than I was expecting.  I thought I was going to wiped out and doing a lot of work the entire trip.  Not so.  Travelling with another mother means that you are both thinking about laundry, food and wine. Aaahhh!  Wonderful.

We got up in the morning fed kids, packed coolers, put together kites, sand toys, planned dinner and sometimes cooked it at breakfast, as though we had the same brain.  It was a true vacation.  We just had all of the same priorities that sometimes my husband does not share.  We would have missed sunset on the beach to be cooking dinner.  We soaked up the sun for 5 days and it was pretty stress free, thanks to my new sister, Mandilove...

Amanda feeding the sea gulls, a daily experience.

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Lily catching waves as they roll up on the beach...

Eli runnng from waves..

Boys like to fight and what better outlet than waves (instead of each other).

Iris lived on the board

If you feel like you need a serotonin dump. This is what you need to do.

Seriously, have you laughed like this in awhile?

Bury me in the sand, please...

The Shadow pictures are just too much fun.

We saved this starfish along with 100 sand dollars from bleach and being someone's christmas tree decorations.  Hudson was incensed by the man that gave them to us.  He said, he was going to throw them back in the ocean and the man's response was, "I never met a boy who didn't wake up wanting to kill something by the age of 4."  We just pretended we were really gonna keep them all and he said, " I hope I didn't give these to a bunch of tree huggers."  Wow. 

Eli's kite was so easy to fly that he actually got tired of flying it while the others were fighting to get theirs in the air.  At one point he was just laying on the ground not even looking at it...

Easter without sugar...

The best part was keith making rainbows...

Easter without sugar.  Since discovering Eli's eczema was related to sugar and gluten we decided to have a super low-key Easter with just our nuclear family and no distractions of other kids getting giant chocolate easter bunnies and jelly beans.  We kept it simple by giving raisins and money.  After adding up all the money they got we went to the health food store and stocked up on lara bars.  It was probably 10 x's more expensive, all said and done but Eli was rash-free and not running screaming through the house like banshee. 

March Madness Part 3: Camping Trip Sans Keith

    I have to say that as independent and strong as I once thought I was, driving 6 hours and camping for 7 days with the boys felt a daunting task.  I remember being struck by the feeling of vulnerablity after having Hudson in a way that shocked me. I had lost so much muscle tone after being pregnant that I never remembered being so weak.  (Even though I just rocked out a natural birth)  I remember feeling fear that I wouldn't be able to protect him if I were attacked.  I felt like prey,  a very hormonal, natural response to motherhood.  After, having Eli those feelings tripled and didn't like being out of my house much.  I remember being invited to beach trips and other things and feeling I just couldn't handle both kids on my own if their was an emergency... So I didn't go anywhere  beyond Lexington/Berea with them for 5  years.

     This March I felt stir crazy for a Spring Break and Keith had to work.  I decided it was time to take off with the kiddos.  Alot of my worst fear scenarios happened and the universe tested me and it exhausted me fo' sure but in the end I felt I had my power back.  I felt a little more like my old, fearless, laid back self.  The car broke down, it poured rain, our flashlights didn't work, the boys and I got sick, camp stoves wouldn't light, and I managed to only cry once and then drink a few much needed beers around the fire and laugh at myself and the fact that I am floating in space on a giant rock and I think I have control of my universe...

The best part of hanging with Lily is she has fairy dress ups!

The Smokey Mtns were beautiful and we were with beautiful people...

The kids doing stage perfomance, "Why you shouldn't feed Baby Animals"
It was riveting.

Easter in the woods... Probably not smart in bear country...

"I just threw my shoes in the river."



"I'm the good son. I still have my shoes on."

Andri and Amanda, good buddies 'o mine.

Eli and Lillybelle...

The boys giving into pressure from the girls...