Well, Keith and I are very happy with our life and our family. So why is there a constant nagging about more children in the back of our crazy (let me iterate crazy) brains. I am really happy and contented and we don't need anymore stress in our lives. However, there is this little spiritual thing called a purpose... I personlly want to run screaming and ignore this "inner knowing" but I've wanted to adopt a child since I was little girl.
Everytime, I listen to the tragic stories of children in horrific situations I keep telling myself, we could handle a child. I feel it is my personal/civic duty because I think I could do it and do it well. (Hopefully, those aren't famous last words!) Seriously, there are soo many children with bad parents out there and I mean sick people. I can't help but know that my home would be a loving safe house for someone to grow up in and to have a family that they can rest peacefully in.
I also, know the flip side of this. That it means one more mouth to feed, one more person who needs help with their health, their mental and emotional life and not to mention college. I look at our financial situation and know that it would be hard for us. I had really laid the whole idea to rest. I was thinking how I just want to be financially stable and ignore this idea that I can help a child. Oh, but then I just talked to my friend this weekend, whose mother passed away when she was 2. Her step mother was abusive to her and her siblings. She told me she never knew why her mother hadn't made arrangements for them and thought her mother hadn't loved her. She just recently got in touch with her mothers' step sister and found out that she was "very" loved by her mother. She said she felt happy for the first time in her entire life at the age of 56.
A mother's love is sooo healing at any age. So many children lose there mother and no one steps in and tries to fill the void. I know that I could do that if I would just take the leap and do it. I guess George Michael sums it best with, "I got to have faith." I say, "YIKES."
I can't get the idea out of my head. I wish that I could. I really do. I long for a simpler life.
Hudson is really into the idea. He keeps telling me he wants a sister while he's still little so he can play with her. I
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