Minivans: Practically Humiliating

"Do you drive a mini-van?!?'", the voice of an old college friend on the other end of cell phone exclaimed.   "Mmmmm. Its hard for me to imagine you driving a mini-van!"

 I've tried to take this comment as a sort of misguided compliment.  Of course, I am the epitome of cool and edgy why would I be driving such a.... let's face it,  Mom-mobile.  However,  a couple of weeks later I ran into a friend on the street whom I  hadn't seen him in a while and we're comfortably pulled up driver's side window to driver's side window, when he blurted out, "Wow!  I didn't know you went to the darkside."  Immediately mind started flashing  back to images of things I'd done that no-one  could possibly know.  Could they?  I might of yelled at Keith for eating all of the eggs this morning.  So what? What?!?  Is he perfect?  After the paranoid flashback I came back to the conversation and realized he was a little offended by my mini-van.  WHAT THE F@#!? is everyone's problem with my new ride?
What did I do that was so hipsterly incorrect?  Didn't we all give up on being cool?  That's what I thought we did.  I thought we made decisions based on having money for soccer crap, room for it and the new "best friend" of the week.  Aren't we supposed to be making those kind of decisions? 

Apparently not.  This summer was the love affair with my mini-van the symbol of my love for my children, the giving up of the person I used to be, the ego removed, to reveal unconditional love, man....
This was the summer the mini-van rocked all the way to MAINE, man.  This was the Christmas there was room for presents, the dogs, the luggage, the cameras, the-just-in-case clothes, the cooler filled with beer, MAN!   But noooooooo!  Now, this is the winter of noticing the scratch marks, the cracked headlight, the stained carpet, and the faint musty sent of smoke from the previous owner.  This is the winter when I pull up at school and the mall with my eyes downwardly shifted, careful not to make eye contact with the Lexus owner next to me.  This, is the winter of shame.